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Tuesday, April 18th, 2006
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7:22 pm - memoir
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I have decided to compose a memoir.
This is a writing exercise, inspired by my sister. Be gentle.
Ok. It’s called a “Kilt”.
A face like the sun; blush ground in with a lap sponge from the hospital to ruddy perfection, like the good morning sun in a Kellogg’s commercial. Mom sat there, in a denim jumper, perfectly pleated, housing a floral shirt that looked like grandma’s drapes. She sat on the daybed in our basement. It must have been the spring of 1988, the year of my first holy communion and the remodeling of the basement.
“Circle in the Sand is a good song,” she marketed.
I knew different. I knew that it was too slow. The audience wants to jump and be enlivened by my lithe little body. I also knew that I had used a much catchier song to try out to, and that substituting “Circle in the Sand” for “Prove Your Love” would never work out. What would the judges think? I was never nervous, not even for a moment. Try-outs were after school in the gymnasium. I had to think of something to do, I had waited until the last minute, nothing memorized or rehearsed, but I danced, I heard Taylor Dane and I moved like a boy possessed. I cartwheeled and spun, I was alive. Most importantly, I got in, and I knew I could make stars out of Jill and me.
The gymnasium at “Shrine”, never had that classic gymnasium smell, as the “athletes” that utilized never really broke a sweat. I blame the coaches there for my marshmallowy form . I could never do a sit-up, and where were they? I could never do a push-up, where was the “come on, Mary, you can do at least one!”. Nobody ran. The only thing that the gym for was for some lame as ethnic celebration where every person in the school had to dress in the authentic dress of their “people”, and each grade performed on stage. All of the eighth graders sang “La Cucaracha” and I have had that song in my head ever since. This was also the first time I ever wore a skirt. The Penrods are apparently Scottish which means that I wore a skirt and thigh highs, all with matching garters with tassels that I am quite sure have a name, but I for the life of my can’t tell you what it is. All I knew, is that I looked good.
Jill and I had been practicing The Eurythmics for several hours every day and we hadn’t come all this way for some lady in some doubty, denim get up to come in here and tear my creative vision, my debut from my tightly clenched, (then) hairless knuckles.
Jill stood by my side. She looked at my with her big blue eyes and her long blonde hair, and I knew what I had to do.
“We are doing “Would I Lie to You”, we already know it.” And that is what we danced to.
Mom knew that she was defeated. She wanted to direct, but I wouldn’t let her. I knew I was born to dance, and most importantly, choreograph.
Mom, not dissuaded from her defeat, went about creating costumes for us. Jill and I, in our slick, stretchy unitards, our sequined wrist cuffs and belts with matching stars.
Mom was working days at Church Hospital then, so she wouldn’t be able to attend, so Mrs. Lucille went in her stead. I couldn’t see her when we were up there, and honestly, I can’t recall any of the specifics of the dance, except for the end. I needed something grand, something amazing and unplanned that Jill’s 4 year-old brain could not fathom. An air lift, like Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey. At the end of the number, I improvised I prompted Jill to run over to me and I hoisted her up like a marlin. A sequin-laden, lycra blend marlin.
“That was so cool, Alec,” she beamed. “Just like Dirty Dancing.”
“That was...very good, let’s hear it for Alec and Jill,” said the announcer.
I was her hero. The audience was speechless.
current mood:  creative
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| Monday, February 13th, 2006
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11:19 pm - Thank you, Carla!
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| FACT:You embody the German principle of Konstantzusammenschaft, which is best described in English (without using the obscure English word "sammenschaft") as "eternal togethermanship". | | | The Loverboy
Random Gentle Love Master (RGLMm)
Well-liked. Well-established. You are The Loverboy. Loverboys thrive in committed, steady relationships--as opposed to, say, Playboys, who want sex without too much attachment.
You've had many relationships and nearly all of them have been successful. You're a nice guy, you know the ropes, and even if you can be a little hasty with decisions, most girls think of you as a total catch. Your hastiness comes off as spontaneity most of the time anyhow, making you especially popular in your circle of friends, too.
Your exact opposite:
The Billy Goat
Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer
| You know not to make the typical Loverboy mistake of choosing someone who appreciates your good humor and popularity, but who offers nothing in return. You belong with someone outgoing, independent, and creative. Otherwise, you'll get bored. And then instead of surprising him with flowers or a practical joke, you'll surprise him by leaving.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Billy Goat
CONSIDER: The Boy Next Door, The Loverboy |
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: sophia_loren |
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6:28 pm - Pretty Good Year
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I wish I could play in the snow in Maryland with my loved ones!
A milestone event. As of Valentine's Day, I have lived in Florida for over a year. I now inventory college, a full-time job with benefits, and a compassionate partner. Not too shabby of a year, if you ask me! I am excited to see what I can post this time next year, but I don't want to jinx myself. Happy Valentine's Day to all; especially to my closest, most gorgeous favorites, you know who you are.
Stay warm, my precious ones, it will be 27 degrees here in sunny Florida, I would hate to think how cold it is in MD tonight. I wish I was cuddling with hot cocoa and hot Antonio tonight, but I will probably just eat some pizza and sleep with my obese cat. Que Cera.....
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, January 13th, 2006
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6:22 am - Good Luck!
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Good luck today, to my best friend, Beth. She has waited years in pain for this special day, and today she gets her breast reduction. I love you so much, Ms. Beth. Hello Ms. Beth, and hello, America!
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
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11:21 pm - LINDA!
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Saw Linda Ronstadt tonight with mom.
Any 60 year old woman tha t can command a note light that is hot in my book.
It made me feel like a kid again, me mom, and Linda...that's all.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, December 23rd, 2005
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5:20 pm - Dinner
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Something that very few people know about me is that I am Roman Catholic. I have struggled with my faith for years. Homosexuality has made it virtually impossible for me to be comfortable going to church, for the obvious reason that I can never really be a true parishoner, as I cannot partake in the sacrament of marriage. I am left feeling like a person that is banned from a nightclub and all of his other friends can get in, but I just have to wait at the door...so I decided to leave the church and keep my faith a silent secret. Don't get me wrong, I harbor extreme resent for the church and any individual that attends church, I feel it a personal attack for 14 years of faithful service. The reason that this is important to note is that I wish all of my friends a very merry Christmas, and I hope you are safe and warm and with the people that you love. I miss all of you in Baltimore, and I want you all to know that not a day goes by that I don't think of you all fondly. This year, I am hosting a traditional Christmas Eve dinner for my immediate family, full of gross things that I know Beth and Charlie would never eat (prunes, herring, etc). I do this for my Grandmother, whom I miss with all of my heart, and for my family, and I hope some day to share this tradition with my husband and my children, my sister and her family,a nd my mother, who will then be a grandmother....and of course with my cats...because deep down inside, I am a fat girl in velvet.
Merry Christmas to all of you on livejournal...even if you are a heathen. And happy holidays, you jews.
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| Monday, December 19th, 2005
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12:41 am
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| Sunday, November 27th, 2005
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3:53 pm - The Purpose of Myspace: If You're Feeling Sinister....
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I have often heard that myspace is just a huge popularity contest, I would like to offer another perspective for discussion. I feel as if it's a very effective tool, a device to measure where others were and where they are going. I look at people's profiles, people I used to know and it makes me feel really good to know that some of the people that I care about are doing very well. What makes me feel even better, because I can be quite evil, is that some of the people that I really dislike are doing nothing and going nowhere. This fact puts a bounce in my step and a song in my heart; so please, you wretched defectives of yesteryear, complain, fail and whine...but please, keep me posted. And just so you know, I am happy, I am in love with someone who loves me to death, I have friends far and wide that support and love me on a level that you probably will never know, I have a family that loves me more than yours probably does, and I am disgustingly successful...you probably are not. You know who you are.
current music: "Fox in the Snow"-Belle and Sebastian
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(13 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, November 20th, 2005
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1:11 am - memememe
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An apology in advance to Mr. Terris.....you had some REALLY good answers that fit for me, so I kept them.....sorry.
Stolen from Mr. Terris:
Two Names You Go By
1.Alec
2.Alec Joseph
Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. Polish
2. German
Two Things That Scare You
1. Jeb Bush running for President
2. The dark
Two Everyday Essentials
1. Cello/ Guitar (music)
2. Going to the bathroom
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Blue t-shirt
2. ass hair
Two of Your Favorite Bands or songs
1. Bjork
2. Nina Hagen
Two Things You Want in a Relationship
1. Communication
2. Understanding
Two Truths
1. Get over the things that happened to you in the past or you will never have a future.
2. Appreciate the things that have happened to you in the past or you will not be able to appreciate the things that happen to you in the future.
Two things You Hate
1. Things done for the sake of image, the un-natural and the inorganic.
2. People who judge---specifically those who make judgements about drug and alcohol usage that have never experienced it themselves.
Two physical features that Appeal to You
1. smiles
2. ass
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. music
2. making an ass out of myself
Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. to live with Antonio
2. to be a successful actor with a private life...oh yeah, and school
Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Switzerland
2. Anywhere with friends
Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. A successful music career
2. sing opera!!!!!!
Two Ways that you are stereotypically a Chick/Guy
1. I'm Really Messy & Don't Bathe As Often As I Should
2. I Will 'Scratch', Fart or Belch In Front Of People & Think It's Funny.
Two Things You Normally Wouldn't Admit
1. I smelled Eddie's hands just now, they had my sister's vaginal secretion all over them!
2. I can't get enough taco bell....no, I probably would admit that
Two people I would like to see take this quiz
1. Jen
2. Beth
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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12:10 am
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I talked to my good friend, Michael for awhile. He told me to check out this AMAZING artist, Diamanda Galas, whom is apparently like Nina Hagen, only more insane. I love her...she's evil.
Diamadagalas.com
I went to a club last night, I got drunk and then I became very sad. I really hate being alone here in Florida. I really wanted affection and attention last night, and I couldn't get it. I came home and called Antonio, we had a brief conversation, and he really put my me at ease. I am excited for what the future will bring, but bored with the process of waiting.
current music: "Someday We'll Be Together"
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
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10:33 pm - did you know?
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Trivia about The Nightmare Before Christmas:
In the German version, Sally was dubbed by Nina Hagen.
that's pretty bad ass.
current music: "Sallys Lied"-Nina Hagen
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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9:40 pm
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Having lived off of lean pockets and ramen up until the past few days, I feel amazing after my dinner tonight. Jill, Eddie and I drove to Whole Foods in Sarasota and they had some hot bar crap, but I had a baguette, fig spread and Gorgonzola Dolce. I ate a quarter pound of blue cheese, it was so good, but now, I ache. I will be signing up for classes tomorrow:
BSC 1086
Human Anatomy and Physiology II 3 cr.
Prerequisites: BSC 1085 and 1085L (completed with grades of "C" or higher). Corequisite: BSC 1086L. A continuation of BSC 1085. Emphasis is on the structure and function of the special senses and the digestive, respiratory, cardiovascular, lymphatic, endocrine, reproductive, and urinary systems. 45 class hours----hard, LAME!
BSC 1086L
Human Anatomy and Physiology II Laboratory 1 cr.
Prerequisites: BSC 1085 and BSC 1085L (completed with grades of "C" or higher). Corequisite: BSC 1086. This course provides laboratory support for the concepts taught in BSC 1086. Lab fee required. 30 laboratory hours----we dissect a cat! MY LITTLE ANGEL!
DEP 2004
Lifespan Development 3 cr.
Prerequisite: PSY 1012. This course is designed to acquaint the student with the theories and perspectives of the human organism’s growth from birth to death. The biological, cognitive, language, social, emotional, and personality foundation and development for all age spans will also be studied. This course includes a 4,000-word writing requirement to satisfy the Gordon Rule. A grade of "C" or higher must be attained. 45 class hours----taking the "television" version of this class.
MAC 1105
College Algebra 3 cr.
Prerequisite: MAT 1033 (completed with a grade of "C" or higher), or appropriate placement test score. Topics include: polynomials, rational expressions, radicals, exponents, linear and quadratic equations and inequalities, functions and their graphs, systems of equations and inequalities, exponential and logarithmic functions, matrices and determinants. If used to meet the requirements of the AA Degree, a grade of "C" or higher must be obtained. 45 class hours--I will ace this! I will be cramming this course at the end of the semester.
I have not decided whatIamgoing to do come May, butI a m pushing for a return to Baltimore, and I am taking classes that will allow me to pursue my degree in either Florida or Maryland. Things are going very well with Antonio, I feel like I can be myself with him, which is a new experience for me when it comes to the men I choose to love. We have been talking alot about where we are going to go in May, but it is certain that it will be somewhere together. I don't want, for one moment, to allow anyone to think that I don't love my blood family here, but I miss all of my friends so much and I can't wait to return home to my loving, chosen family.
current music: The Boss-The Rising
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, November 14th, 2005
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6:20 pm - MORE BOOBS!
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I am so happy. Beth's boobs are FINALLY going away, it couldn't have happened to a nicer, more deserving person. I love you, Beth, and my thoughts and prayers are with you always.
current music: "Wonderful"-Adam Ant
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, November 13th, 2005
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4:00 pm - The best day!
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I have traveled 1000 miles to leave all I've ever loved to find out the answer to the question I have wondered since I was born
I
AM
Not
broken.
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(comment on this)
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2:27 pm - BOOBIES!
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I hate that I don't know what to use this journal FOR anymore. I feel this shift in me from being a very blatant and public person, to being much more reclusive, eating ramen and petting my cat in my subtropical paradise. However, I WILL write about my crazy, naked house. I am so very tired of breasts, I don't think Jill owns a shirt, and two nights ago, my mother, bless her, got hammered with some doctor friend over at The Reef and I had to get her home, get her a puke bucket, and get her undressed. MORE BOOBS! It never ends! Christ, I signed up for this scrapbooking class, but I never thought I'd go! P.S. Thank you, Beth, for showing me how to take off a massive bra with one hand, drunk, and in the dark, your gargantuan titties have touched us all in more ways than you could ever know.
current music: 7 Year Bitch-"24,900 miles an hour"
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, October 28th, 2005
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9:44 pm
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Antonio is here, I am very happy. He and Jill are cooking dinner. We went to the beach today, that is all.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
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12:15 am - stolen from TB
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Braggart
You are 57% Rational, 100% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant. |
You are the Braggart! Like Muhammad Ali, you would surely tell everyone that you are "The Greatest" whilst bragging incessantly about your intelligence, your skills, and your abilities. You tend to be a thinker rather than a feeler, and combined with your extroversion and arrogance, this makes you someone who probably just LOVES to brag about his accomplishments. Despite this, however, you are a very gentle, tender person and truly care about others' feelings. You just happen to care more about yourself. Unlike Ali, of course, you are rather rational as opposed to emotional, and you are also much more gentle. But his arrogance and extroversion best reflect the most visible aspects of your personality. Your personality defect is the fact that you are extremely overconfident, extroverted, and perhaps rather lacking in emotions. YOU ARE THE GREATEST! Or so you keep telling yourself every night, in hopes that eventually everyone else on the planet will agree. Well, sorry, we probably won't.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.
Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the Bitch-Slap.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Haughty Intellectual, and the Capitalist Pig.
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If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.
The other personality types:
The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant. |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 34% on Rationality |
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You scored higher than 96% on Extroversion |
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You scored higher than 49% on Brutality |
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You scored higher than 62% on Arrogance |
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, October 24th, 2005
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9:33 am - ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE?
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I got to go home early today, because there were no patients for our department. To all of my friends that are concerned, I am safe, and thankfully, we haven't really seen anything more than a light storm with moderate winds. WE had to put everything outside into our garage, I asked my mom how often we have to do this, to which she responded, "ever goddamn hurricane!" It made me think of Jen.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
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3:42 pm - for you....
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| Saturday, October 22nd, 2005
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2:58 pm - Looks like we're in for nasty weather.....
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I went to an industrial club in New Port Richey last night! Who knew? My piercer invited me to tag along and I had a really good time. I met the owner's wife and aolt of people that said "Oh, Melissa was telling me all about you....blah blah blah", and even if that's not the case, it's nice to hear. I never knew I could have fun in this shitty, little town. I have alot of anxiety. I am not sure which is going to show up first, Antonio or Hurricane Wilma. I miss him so much and I would hate for the storm to fuck up his travel plans. I guess we shall see....
current mood: in love
current music: "New York, New York"-Nina Hagen
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haloless's journal
